jessica

2001-07-26T18:42:00.000-04:00

well i haven't bloged in a while..i guess there's really been nothing to say.. and i doubt you read this anymore.. not like i ever add anything.. guess that's how it goes, right? well even if it isn't, what the hell..

it's been a ride, hasn't it? up, down, all around.. i'm so glad you've found someone you love.. even if perhaps the feeling may not be shared (i dont know if it is or not) but i'm glad we've both found happiness.. and right now im listening to this song and it's making me smile, because it reminds me of the way i felt when i was with you, and when me and you had our heads in the clouds, and so in love.. even though are times are over, and we've both moved on, i will always remember you and the moments we shared.. yes some weren't the best haha, but then again, no relationship is perfect.. but this reminds me of us, and i hope it has the same effect on you.. you've touched me.. always, jessica

SOMETHING LIKE YOU
by: NSYNC
So many times I thought I held it in my hands,
But just like grains of sand
Love slipped through my fingers.
And so many nights,
I asked the Lord above
Please make me lucky enough
To find a love that lingers
Something keeps telling me
That you could be my answered prayer
You must be heaven sent I swear

Cause something happens when you look at me I forget to speak.
Something happens when you kiss my mouth my knees get so weak.
Could it be true this is what God has meant for me cause baby
I can't believe that something like you could happen to me
Something like you

Girl in your eyes, I feel your fire burn
Oh your secrets I will learn
Even if it takes forever
With you by my side
I can do anything
I don't care what tomorrow brings
As long as we're together.
My heart is telling me
That you could be my meant to be
I know it more each time we touch…
Cause something happens when you look at me I forget to speak.
Something happens when you kiss my mouth my knees get so weak.
Could it be true this is what God has meant for me cause baby
I can't believe that something like you could happen to me

Something magical,
something spiritual,
Something stronger than the two of us alone.
Something physical,
Something undeniable.
Nothing like anything that I've ever known...

Cause something happens when you look at me I forget to speak.
Something happens when you kiss my mouth my knees get so weak.
Could it be true this is what God has meant for me cause baby
I can't believe that something like you, something like you
That something like you could happen to me.

Something happen
Can't believe that you happened to me

2001-07-01T19:38:00.000-04:00

MmM bloG... hot damn. 'sbeen a long time!

LeTS sEE how long it is before you look at this!!.. so when you do, tell me so i'll be like, 'cool dude, ya DO check my blog every now and then!' hehe.. yea i know im a psycho, but what would i be like, if i w asn't..??

hot DAMN im so bored. we should hang out tonight. i'm gunna call you after i finish blogging. you'll probably say, 'whatever', and then i'll be like, 'well, do you wanna hang out or not?' and you'll say, 'whatever floats your boat, i dont care' and then i'll go 'grrrr' and you'll say 'fine be that way' and well, yeah its kinda weird that i'm having the conversation without actaully having the conversation hehehe.. it'll be really freaky if that's whats actually said though! hehe...

VIVA LAS VEGAS!!! you should come with me to vegas if i go back.. yeah, that'd be cool

okie well i'm gunna go call ya to see if ya wanna hang out!!

PEACE IN THE MIDDLE EAST!
O=D

2001-05-06T12:41:00.000-04:00

ick. i feel ick.

i went to the doctor yesterday, and he said that i may have lyme disease or a summer flu. whatever the case is, i feel like monkey poo.

my family went to my cousin's communion today, but i didnt go because i'd fall asleep *one of the medicines im taking makes me extremely sleepy*. i told my mom i wanted to go, but she knew i wouldn't be able to stay awake. plus i need to do some of my schoolwork and study for my lifeguarding test.

hope you had fun this weekend =) ill talk to you later hopefully..

2001-04-26T21:29:00.000-04:00

howdy doody neighbor! okay so maybe you dont live next door, but you're still neighbor!

yummy ice cream in my tummy!! it was a large dish of vanilla, with hot fudge, gummy bears, whipped cream, and a cherry! we went to applegate's after my sister's band/chorus concert-- note:if you ever have to go to one of those things, bring earplugs.

brrr i am cold! that's cuz i just ate the ice cream and it is a tit bit nipply outside! did you see the moon tonite? it's a pretty sliver of a moon and the light is shining down on my pillow as we speak.

gosh am i happy that school is drawing to a closure. i hope summer doesn't suck. that would blow, like, serious blowage. are you doing anything 'sides kr and scout camp over summer vacation?

i didn't get my hair done today because the lady never called or said anythiing more to me or my mom. oh well, i'll just have to wait. i also need to drop off my pictures from band. hmm, i want them soon! but i dont' know how that'll work out. ill think of something

i have a vocab quiz tomorrow and i really don't wanna study. but i will. i never study for those mofo's in advance, and i always do poorly. maybe tonight i'll study and hope to do good. maybe.

well that is all for now! if i dont hear from u by 10, then ill call you.. if we dont get to talk tonight, then sweetestdreams when you sleep..*j

2001-04-25T16:32:00.000-04:00

deedle-eedle!!

today is already wednesday- HOT DAMNIT! that's some crazy shishness right there-. and ya know what else.. WORD IS BORN!! =)

i got home today afterschool and had some raspberry sherbet ((MmmMm MmMm good!)) and then a shish-load of tostios with salsa- oi, i was doin some major chomppin' LoL.. then i watched some tv, and i was like, 'dad, can u drive me to shoprite so i can pick up my band pictures?' and he said okay.. then i realized that my mom has the little ticket thingys, and since she's not home, i can't get them--eergz! its okay though. i can be patient

LOOK! amy is online! and some guy is working on our front lawn with a weed-wacker. haha, hes wackin' the weeds. ::smirks:: LoL

okay well that is all for now! A, B, C-YA! ;)

2001-04-21T22:08:00.000-04:00

nothing will ever be like last year's band trip. it may come close, but it'll never be like it was last year ago.. this year's ((like last year)) had its ups and downs... it had the REALLY good parts, then it had its REALLY bad parts.. but still..

YEAH so anyways, i went to rut's hut for dinner tonite and i had a bacon and egg sandwhich, then i came home and unpacked, and i've been trying to do stuff online, but aol's being kinda spastic *worse than me* -yes its possible lol

hum bum bum OMG today in the "shopping center" place, there was a guy with a black shirt that had a big slice of cheese it and said, 'THE BIG CHEESE' above it.. i totally forgot to tell you about it, but i thought of u when i saw it at least! =)

i'm gunna quit youth band. tomorrow i'm gunna call him and tell him that it just isn't for me. my mom said she agreed that he's a hitler wanna be. i find it rather funny, but not when i'm part of his little "troop" or such

im gunna chill online for a while.. maybe youll call, maybe you won't... but ill just hope for the best =)

2001-04-15T19:33:00.000-04:00

ello! today is EASTER! it was so nice out today with the weather and all =)

i got candy (major smiles!) and money (more major smiles) and i ate BUTTERSCOTCH PIE!!!!!! and it was soooo scrump-tilly-ump-tious cuz i gave up butterscotch pudding for lent, and my grandma made the pie, and MM-MM-MM! was it good! hehehe

i called u a while ago, but amy sed u'd call back later, so i went outside on the deck and brought my sketch book out and doodled... it was cool beanies, and then it got cold and kinda dark out, so i came in LOL! =)

well tomorrow is school.. ::cringe:: I HATE SCHOOL! i did't do my chem labs - oh well! i'll hand them in a day late, whats the big deal, right? hehe ::wink::

GrRR goes my tummy! i ate a lot today, but i is still hungry! gotta do maaaad sit-ups tonite though cuz otherwise that chocolate and sugar and stuff is goin rite to my belly and thighs- and u KNOW how big i think my thighs are! hehe

i'm gunna go get some munchies, and im sure ill talk to you later tonite! ::crosses fingers:: LoL ;)

2001-04-14T00:05:00.000-04:00

i didn't get to talk to you today ::sighs::

i wanted to go to the library, and i was gunna walk over to your work, but since mo had a friend sleep over last nite, they slept in... i didnt wake up til 10:30, and then the fone guy came to fix my line around 11.. so by the time that was done (45 minutes later), we all needed to take our showers and get ready..

but then we went shopping.. i needed an easter outfit, and stuff to wear for the band trip *a nice outfit for symphony and dinner cruise*, so we did that, and then came home (5:30) i called u, but no one answered.. oh yeah! on our way home from the mall, we were driving up broad street like, right by curry video, and i saw ur mom and amy was in the car and im like, 'OH! ITS MRS. KIMMEL!' but u weren't in the car ::sigh again:: =(

so then anyway, we picked up my dad, and we went out to nevada to eat.. u weren't in work then either =T so then we came home, got ready and i went out.. and u didn't call :T

but right now you're KNIGHTREALMING! so i'm sure you're having a blast.. gotta keep that adrenaline goin, right? damn strait! i'll blog some more laterz.. TANNING TOMORROW !! WOO HOO! ill make sure i put suntan lotion on my ass =P nite nite cutie ..<3::heart:: hehe *j

2001-04-12T21:11:00.000-04:00

BLOGAGE! hehe =) **notice smile**

::scratches neck:: OMG i didn't notice this... ok well when i went tanning today, i jus wore a gstring.. and then i put my clothes back on, and vawahla! (its not how u spell it but u know wut i mean).. so i didnt bother to look at my butt.. but tonite when i got dressed, i pull down my panties, and my butt is BEET RED!!! hehe and sure 'nuff i got my tan line =P but it'll go away, which is good.. but i jus found it rather amusinig!

UGH my sister has her friend Al sleeping over *shes a girl, not a guy*.. and it's gunna be a loooong nite! =T eerg! i hope they dont like, put shaving cream on me while im sleeping or something.. that woud SUCK! lol but it'd be my luck so i dont care!

"Motivation Proclamation" by Good Charlotte .. and "Between you and Me" by the Ataris are GOOD SONGS!!!

"a star up in the sky goes slowly passing by, the lights below...they spell out your name. you're comfort on my mind and you're with me all the time. and lot's of feeling that i can't explain." *the ataris

sweetest dreams, as long as u see me in them...

2001-04-01T21:18:00.000-04:00

"it's no suprise to me, i am my own worst enemy. cuz every now and then i kick the living shit outta me!" what an awesome song LoL yeah i'm listening to my LiT cd ((good shit)) haha :)

hum de dum.. guess what!? i made cookies.. YuUuM! they came out taste-a-licious, too! ::coughs:: man i have a tickle in my throat! grr! hehe, but its okay i suppose, since i'm sick and all!

"it always takes me to a place that i belong. another time, another place that i belong." this is a stupid song.. i don't like it, and i dont know why, but i'm still listening to it! i'm gunna hit the forward button.

okay, so i hit the forward button a few more times hehe.. song#6-- ziplock. great song too!

so.. what to write, what to write.. UMmMM.. ::thinking:: so, do you like cheese? i sure do love cheese. mozzarella mostly. and sharp cheddar. i like buiscuts too. or however you spell it, i was never good with my english.

i do not know what to wear tomorrow! "im sure your bad dreams are probably all about me, and better off without me. if i could get another chance, i'd put it in a ziplock bag.. and keep it in my pocket, keep it in my pocket, KEEP IT IN MY POCKET!! tell me, when i start to blow it would u show me what i need to do before you hate me, cuz i could never live with that so tell me, before you're better off without me"

ho huM! okay i'm gunna go now.. xoxoxoxoxoxoox LoL i have no life! but hey, you alreayd knew that!

2001-04-01T16:38:00.000-04:00

i am feeling a little better today :) my throat is still icky, and my nose still runny/sniffly-sniff, but other than that, i'm okay! i started doing my homework at 12:15, and finished at like, 2:10.. but it got done, right? yes! that is right! i wanted to work on my term paper a little bit because it's due on friday, but i left my folder w/ all my printouts and stuff in my locker :T oh well, i'll get it done. i have lifeguarding tomorrow night, but we're not swimming the next 3 classes- instead we're meeting at the red cross building. so that works out good since i'm still sick, i won't have to worry about running myself down. i need to make sure i get up on time tomorrow cuz i may have to run tomorrow in gym (i'm not sure, but i think i am) and i need to shave my legs LoL. mr. fenton said i'm getting an A this marking period, and i think that's awesome cuz i was out one day and didn't change once (on a running day, too!) and it still works out for the best hehe. and friday i have to take the mythology exam 8th period, so i'm not taking gym that day either. i know what i should do- i should write 2 articles for gym-- one for the day i was absent, and another for the day that i won't be there (friday) and that'll prove to him that i really DO care haha! he already knows that i do, but hey, the little extra umph wouldn't hurt, would it? hehe.. man i really wanted to bake chocolate chip cookies this afternoon, but my mom has roast beef in it, so i cant :T she sed i have to wait til after dinner.. but that's in a few hours.. nooo! i want to make them now!! i'm perfectly settle, cuz i know you're thinking, "settle down" hehe.. my room is kinda messy, but not really.. i mean, if it was really messy, i'd clean it up, but i don't think it's too bad, so i'm not even gunna waste my time! i should read the chapter we're doing in chemistry.. (we never use the book, she just tells us we SHOULD read it- but no one ever does). so maybe if i read the book then i'll actually understand what we're doing! that really bothers me about chemistry- usually i know how to do the type of problems and stuff she gives us. i know the properties and laws and all that stuff.. but then on the test, the problems she gives us are totally weird! you can even ask deirdre.. ok, well i know you won't but im just saying lol.. i sit next to her, and we work on the problems together, and i get the right answers about 80% of the time, or somethinig along those lines.. and that really gets me mad! because i know what i'm doing, and i get the right answers, but i either fail the test, or get a D. i don't think i've ever gotten an A or possibly even a B on one of her tests. thats terrible! oh well, what can you do about it? ho hum.. nothing to do!.. okay so here.. i know you don't talk about any of this anymore, and i don't know why, but nothing i can do.. but i'll talk about it, even if you don't.. i have this feeling that you think that i only THINK i love you.. with the whole "she thinks she does" thing.. my feelings for you are still there.. they haven't changed. i still love you and would love to be with you. and i enjoy everything about you.. when i talk to you, when we hang out, when other stuff.. i mean, it all means a lot to me.. and i still hope that one day things can be back.. but that's not up to me.. it just seems that you're so unsure of how you feel, ya know.. i mean, you say you love me, then you say you feel something, but don't know what to call it.. then you don't even say THAT anymore.. when i tell you i love you, you just say, "ok" or "i know".. and i just wish that you could tell me how you feel, but i guess you can't.. you haven't been that open about your feelings lately, and that gets me worried, cuz it makes me feel like i'm slowly losing you.. i haven't changed- i'm still me, still cute as a button (had to say that hehe :) and still have my heart set on you.. i just hope that you know what you feel, and can figure out what to do or not do about it.. if you love me, tell me.. if you don't, then tell me you don't.. but just be able to talk to me... i miss you so much, not in just boyfriend way, but lately i've missed you because you seem so far away, and i don't think i've done anything to make you do that.. i honestly don't see how it can be me, so is it you? or is it everything? by everything, i don't know what i mean... but who knows! well i guess that's it for now.. i'll probably talk to you later this afternoon or this evening or something like that <3 j

2001-03-31T00:00:00.000-05:00

bum bum bum! i am sitting alone in my room, aww poor me hehe :) man i am sick. my throat is KILLING me! ::cough cough:: and im all sniffly-sneezy.. ICK!

i think i'm in a good mood.. or maybe i'm not and i'm just pretending to be in a good mood, ya know, to get my mind of things or something like that.. who knows! but hey, i mean, i made orange cake with sprinkles, so that has to count for SOMETHING hehe ::cough cough again::

i really hope this weekend isn't boring, even though i have a feeling it will be. if it's gunna rain like they say it's gunna, then we'll (meaning my mom, sister, and grandma) will go shopping .. YES! i loooooove to shop!! hehe.. but i always get pointless and needless crap.. hey, maybe i'll find a spongebob shirt! that way i won't have to steal YOURS! ::giggle but then coughs again:: man it sux being sick

i don't want to go to sleep, and i don't know why... maybe i think that if i lie down, i'll fall asleep, then next thing i know i'll wake up and i'll feel like shht again.. and boy do i hate when that happens. like, you know how you say to yourself, 'okay, i'll go to sleep and when i wake up i'll feel better'.. but then when you wake up, you STILL feel crappy.. i think that's what i think's gunna happen to me, which is making me not go to beddy bye at this particular point in time..

Ted's burried under the covers. man i sure do love ted. and i got my princess pillow w/ notage and tapage in it (of the electric type). ::coughs again:: yes i know i'm pathetic, but i love thinking about happy things, and well, that makes me happy.. thinking of times and words and such, puts a smile on my face.. but sometimes i go, 'man, why can't it STILL be like that?' and that's when the :( comes in.. but right now i'm smiley, so i don't wanna think negatively! ::coughs yet again..::

my ears are starting to get a little tickly too.. ick. i hate when that happens too! cuz u can't do anything about it cuz it's like, inside your ear and whatnot. grrr! ::burps:: hehe excuse me! :) you're gunna be in a rocking chair tomorrow.. man, i wish i could be as lucky as you Hehehe! i'm sure it'll go fine though, so you got nothing to worry about, even though i have a feeling you're not worried one bit!

::ack, more coughage:: well i think that's about it for now.. i'll blog on sunday when i get home from pennsylvania and hopefuly after i talk to you! ... i love you

2001-03-25T21:14:00.000-05:00

and i have never felt so sure about anything.. see you are the one, the one that i need.. it doesn't matter what they think or what they say.. im loving you anyway. -monica , from "lovesong"

thats such a good song! hehe so wuts goin on!? blog blog blog! hehe :) you should def. make a blog.. hehe. okay well damn im not tired! ususally i would say, 'damn im tired' but im not, so i sed, 'damn im NOT tired!' .. is it me or did this weekend go by fast? oh wells! it's all good! :) i think im gunna wear my new shirt tomorrow. yeah, i am- its pretty! :) hehe.. "your skin, oh yeah your skin and bones turn into something beautiful , and you know i love you so.. you know i love you so" -COLDPLAY from the song "yellow" hehe.. okay well im gunna listen to my music and talk to you online.! latah alligatah!!!

2001-03-24T22:15:00.000-05:00

sometimes i just sit and wonder..

i wonder what things would be like if that day didnt happen, what would happen if you felt comfortable, what would it be like if i didn't say what i did that one night... and i just hope, and wish.. and then i just wan--

i love you, and i can't get you out of my head.. i can't explain it, but it's true

2001-03-21T15:47:00.000-05:00

YOU'VE BEEN HIT BY, YOU'VE BEEN STRUCK BY A SMOOTH CRIMINAL!

lol what a great song! my tootsies do not have any socks on them. man, i ran 15 strait minutes in gym today and i'm still feeling kinda icky, cuz i have gym 8th period, so it's like, 'ugh-ness' lol.

i ate some spicy nacho dorito's and a girl scout thin mint and some coke. oh man, not a good combo. what a nasty taste- i do NOT reccommend it, not one insy- bitty- bit. gross-ness!

well i'm gunna go wax **ouch ouch** haha, not really but you know what i mean! band concert tonite! woop-de-doo LoL :)

2001-03-20T16:36:00.000-05:00

'ello! today was another day, and i have to swim ! splash splash in the pool! i hope i dont drown.. eek that would suck, considering i'm supposd to be training to save people from drowning.. i'm clean! yay for me! :) i like being happy, and i wish i could never be anything but happy! well im sure after time that would get boring LoL .. im not a spaz.. PLEASE KISS ME!

2001-03-19T15:30:00.000-05:00

I AM POSTING! HEHE :) I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU YES I DO DOODLE OODLE OODLE OODLE OOH DOO DO!

2001-03-13T19:33:00.000-05:00

7:39- "shes a good girl, loves her momma. loves jesus and america too. she/s a good girl, she's crazy bout elvis. loves horses, and her boyfriend too" -free falling

i went out to eat at FRIENDLY'S tonite (yuumy in my tummy) maureen was being silly and me and mom were laughing so hard that we were crying. hahaha. it was funny.

well im going to the board of ed meeting in a few minutes and we're picking up the catlin family (well, mrs. catlin and diane) so i'll talk to you when i get home :)

2001-03-11T17:56:00.000-05:00

i saw these lyrics and i thought they were good, and the song is also pretty good:

I DON'T WANNA LIVE WITHOUT YOUR LOVE
by Chicago
Thought it wouldn't matter
If we didn't stay together
And if it was ov er
Baby, it was for the better
I was thinking I'd be all right
'Til I thought it all through
Now I know that I ain't really living
If I have to live without you

I don't wanna live without your love
I don't wanna face the night alone
I could never make it through my life
If I had to make it on my own
I don't wanna love nobody else
I don't wanna find somebody new
I don't wanna live without your love
I just wanna live my life with you
With you

Guess I had to go away
So much I had to go through
Guess I had to lose you
To realize how much I love you
Can we make the fires burn again
Burn a little stronger
'Cause I've been alone, and baby
I can't be alone any longer

I don't wanna live without your love
I don't wanna face the night alone
I could never make it through my life
If I had to make it on my own
I don't wanna love nobody else
I don't wanna find somebody new
I don't wanna live without your love
I just wanna live my life with you

If I had to make it on my own
My life would never be the same
My love would never be the same
And I don't wanna live without your love

I don't wanna live without your love
I don't wanna face the night alone
I could never make it through my life
If I had to make it on my own
I don't wanna love nobody else
I don't wanna find somebody new
I don't wanna live without your love
I just wanna live my life with you

2001-03-11T00:18:00.000-05:00

once again you did a great job :) you should really be proud of yourself, cuz i am! i know you put up with all those goddamn practices hehe.. next year i'll do it, cuz it seems pretty cool. well it's 12:30 and you're probably still at the cast party.. it's okay, cuz i bet you're havin a blast :) well i have to go to church in the morning, and you'll probably wake up at 1ish anyway.. so i'll just call you when i get home tomorrow.. goodnite sweetheart...

2001-03-09T23:52:00.000-05:00

"I wonder about life at times, and why things happen the way they happen. but as long as I'll live, I'll never be able to answer that question. so I just live my life knowing that as long as you keep the people that mean the most to you close to your heart, you'll never go wrong." -unknown

2001-03-09T23:45:00.000-05:00

there she was just a walkin down the street singing
DO WA DIDDY DIDDY DUM DIDDY DO

hehe great song! okay i am sleeeepy so im going to bed... damnit, friday night and im already going to sleep. am i really that much of a loser?

2001-03-08T23:27:00.000-05:00

*KISS FROM YOU*

oh wait..
.. that was me jus wishing out loud again

silly me!

2001-03-08T15:40:00.000-05:00

"One more try, i didn't know how much i loved you..
one more try, let me put my arms around you..
livin' all these lonely nights without you..
oh baby can we just give it one more try?...

it's been a long time since i've kissed you..
it always used to feel so good..
and if u knew how much i missed you..
you'd forgive me if you could..

and after all that we have been through,
won't you let me tell you why..
and now that we have found each other,
can't we give it one more try.."

-Timmy T.

i miss your hugs :( but then i think about how much i love you and i get a :) on my face hehe... yeah, like i said, i'm a hopeless romantic

2001-03-07T21:42:00.000-05:00

Hello! My name is Jessica, and I have a problem. My problem is that, I am a hopeless romantic. Yes, yes it's true. I went to the library today afterschool, and a girl Michelle from my Earth/Space class was there with a girl from my Algebra 2 class. I was talking to them, and Michelle had begun to talk about her friend who got a delivery from her boyfriend. From what I understand, he graduated BHS 2 years ago, and couldn't afford to pay for college, so he joined the army. He sends her roses for no reason, and writes her love letters and poems, and all that sweet stuff. Well, today Michelle was talking about this "delivery" that this girl got from her boyfriend, for no reason. It was a big box that had a bunch of stuff in it: his tags, a pair of sandals, a pair of khaki pants, a white tank-top, a yellow-ish shrug (all from Eddie Bauer), a home-made cd with all of their favorite songs on it, and a little Victoria's Secret number. How sweet is that? He bought her all of this just because he saw it and it reminded him of her, and he thought she would look beautiful in them. That's too sweet. And me, well yes, my problem is that I'm just a hopeless romantic. Not as bad as this guy I just told you about, but I mean, I always have so much I want to say, but I don't think I say it really "romantic", you know? And I do try, but I don't think it ever comes out good enough. I guess I'll just keep working at it, even if I end up sending myself flowers. Well, okay I won't go to that extent because that would be um, pretty pathetic. But yes, my name is Jessica and I am a hopeless romantic.

2001-03-06T11:13:00.000-05:00

NO SCHOOL! YESSS! but my mom said she isn't leaving the house today, so i can't go to the library! :*( damnit, i hope we don't have school tomorrow either, but it stops snowing so she'll TAKE ME TO THE LIBRARY! ugh! oh well! i have to do my chemistry labs today, becuase they're due tomorrow, and well i need to have them done. i was supposed to have a chem test on monday, but obviously that didn't happen, so im gunna have it when we get back! fun Fun FUN isn't it?! haha..

i feel icky and sticky cuz i didn't take a shower yet! oh well i'll do it later. i had those hostess thingys for breakfast *yeah, real nutritious*.. they're the little chocolate cakes with the creme filling and the vanilla icing with a strip of chocolate icing on the top *like i sed, real nutritious hehehe*

i'm listening to "By your side" by Sade. good song. mmm i smell pizza, is it? quite possibly! yuumy! my mommie baked pizza in the oven! i sure do love my mommie, and she loves me! and she gives me hugs everyday! the only hugs i get anymore..

2001-03-05T23:38:00.000-05:00

heeeloo! you know you like the way this looks :) okay well it's 11:43 and i'm sleeeepy! and i really really hope we don't have school tomorrow. like, i really really hope we don't. at all. i need to go to the library and i need to study for chem! ahh! craziness! :T okay well i love you, and i'll talk to you later. sweet dreams. you're still in my pillow case.. xxxoo

2001-03-05T19:32:00.000-05:00

my heart is beating fast and im starting to sweat. i think it's fear. the fear of losing. the fear of the things i dont know, maybe what i don't want to know.. everything really. it scares me because i dont know anything except the way i feel. im leaving myself open to him.

2001-03-05T12:56:00.000-05:00

" i can dream about you if i can't hold you tonite.. i can dream about you, you know how to hold me just right " -Dan Hartman

2001-03-05T12:51:00.000-05:00

::yawns::

it's almost 1 o'clock, my my. i watched 'in the mood'- great movie. it has patrick dempsy in it (he was in "loverboy" and "can't buy me love".. wonder what ever happened to him) and it was about this guy who marries 2 older women who are already married- funny stuff. yeah.

i'm not in a good mood, not in a bad mood.. i just kinda... AM i guess. nothing special, just confused. i wish there would be a definate answer..

2001-03-04T17:39:00.000-05:00

hellooo! what is up!? nothing here, im just sitting at my upstairs computer, that is all!

my mommy's making ravioli for dinner- yuuumy in my tummy! hehe. and i did my homework today, too! yay for me! hehe.. i talked to him today for a long time on the fone and boy oh boy.. it was so nice to just talk and know that he's my bestest friend and i mean, i can talk to him about anyting, which is really cool. he's sooooooo right for me. but shh i didnt say that, b/c i shouldnt say that, b/c i'm jus gunna get :( and i dont like when im :( so let's not think bad things! hehe..

but im in a good mood now suprisingly! he makes me smiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiillllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeee :) hehe.. ya im a cornball, what can i say! and i dont mean this to sound vain, but i think im pretty cute, rite? right. okay that was really vain. haha. okay ill shut up..

damn, i ramble on n on about nothing! crazy ish right there, man. i really hope there's no school. i hate school. school can kiss my ass! haha alrite im being stupid cuz im in a good mood! okay well i'll right more later!!! :)

2001-03-04T09:25:00.000-05:00

my my!
it is early.
it is almost 9:30 and i am awake.

thougt we'd always be together.. i was sure our love would last.. here i am, all alone, wonderin what went wrong.. did we ever have a chance? -SBTB (again) hehe..

i have to do hw today :T ugh i hate hw. and i didn't go to the library yesterday cuz i got up too late, so i guess im gunna have to go to the school library during lunch whenever we have school next- cuz with this "Stormwatch 2001", who knows if we'll have school tomorrow or not..

Should i write this... hmm.. im debating..

okay i guess i will.. cuz it's what im thinking about..

last night when i got off the fone with him (even though we only talked for 10 minutes), i cried the same way i did when i asked him if we could be back toge--

it was bad..

and you know, i still can't figure out why i do this...
..but i do. it's crazy... i'm jus so in love. and it builds up inside me and builds up and builds up, and i can't express it to him, so it has to come out somehow.. jus thru tears i guess.. even a hug would be nice...

2001-03-03T21:56:00.000-05:00

Eish..

Today was soo boring! again! ahh.. im getting used to this boring-ness :T I woke up at noon, and showered n stuff n then talked on the fone for a while, then did my hair, and basically sat around, then at like, 5:30 i had to go to the airport to get my mom.. and we got home at about 8ish, then we came home, then went right back out to eat at the town pub.. then came home and it was about 9:20 so it was too late to do something.. oh well.. and its gunna SNOW like REALLY ALOT tomorrow n monday i heard.. so we'll see what happens..

OMG

*I'm sO iN LoVe WiTh HiM!*

2001-03-02T22:20:00.000-05:00

ho hum again..

i feel empty without him.. like, everyting i say to him i mean.. everyting i feel.. and it SUCKS SO MUCH that all we can do is say it, and know its there, and know that at any second he or me could meet someone and start something (happened with him already..).. i just don't want to do anything without him because all i ever think about is him, and then i feel so good about myself and know that i'm alright and i'm okay because i love someone who loves me. but then i realize that he's free to do whatever he wants, and if it's not me, well then i can't help it... i can't control what he does,and i dont want to.. i just wish that he WOULD want me the way i want him.. and if he does then why doesn't he do something? i feel so incomplete without him next to me..

2001-03-02T17:15:00.000-05:00

...

Offer me your hand,
and I will give my heart.
ask me for a sketch
and i'll paint a work of art..
and i know i can,
when it's for you...

in the light of day
we all believe we can..
it's when we're in the dark
that we need a hleping hand..
mine is always there
when it's for you...

i can't help it
i can't hide it
it's what you bring out in me..
cuz you give me inspiration
nothing's too much when it's for you..

i can't say it enuff..
KELLY WILL ALWAYS LOVE ZACK

2001-03-01T16:56:00.000-05:00

sweet me..

this week is going SO DAMN SLOW! nothing new happens, nothing changes, and i want to explode. its craziness! just for a second.. just one second to hold him close, to--

ahh i just rubbed my eyes and forgot i have sparkly glitter on em haha. silly me! my dad's going to meet the cast of the soprano's tonite. sweet, right? haha i wnna soak in the bath right now but i gotta wait til dad leaves-hes hoggin the bathroom rite now hehe..

the scouts dinner is tonite and i wanted to go, but i cant cuz i gotta watch mo :*( damnit. i haven't got hug even. i love his hugs. like, so much! you know what? i should just say i love YOUR hugs b/c you're the only one who has the web address hehe.. but yes anyway

i have english homework tonite- grr. and e/s but he said what the assignment was at the end of class while i was walking out the door- oh well!

okay i got to pick my classes today! here they go..

-Lunch
-Gym
-Band
-Music Theory 1
-English 3 CP
-Pre Calc CP
-US History 1 CP
-Latin 3 Hon
- and i have no idea what my nineth class will be..

i put down Environmental Sci. as my last class, but i might wanan take something else.. im still not sure!

okay well thats it for now- ill rite more tonite

i missssssss hiiiiiiiimmmmmmmm

2001-02-28T18:14:00.000-05:00

im filled with love for him, and i smile :)

reason knows not why.. but i do!

2001-02-27T22:26:00.000-05:00

omg we're back again

thats like, backstreet boys, man! ugh, i mean, im not "into" those boy band kinda things, but some songs r pretty cool- but no im not obsessed w/ em -oh ya my "boy band fetish" lol ya-thatll be the day

*call me when your down! call me when you need someone! call me when its rough, and u think that there is no one, until you need someone to love.. i will be searchin for my love.. i will but i will be there..." -le click *something like that hahah*

i did my homework tonite! yay! hehe :) and im very proud of myself ! im gunan try to get up early tomorrow, too so i can take my shower n do my hair all nice- i mean, not like i can do anything much with my hair, but ill put some clippy-do's in it or soemthing, see how it looks ! ee! im sucha girl! hehehe love love love love love surrooooounds me!

2001-02-27T15:32:00.000-05:00

Hideey-Ho neighbors!

today was an okay day i guess.. nothing interesting happened at all in school. I was sad some though b/c he wasn't in school :*( but thats okay, i'll talk to him tonite and ill be :) damn, im pathetic. really. but thats just me! hehehe..

eww im all sticky n icky feelin from gym still :T i need to change my clothes- i would take a shower, but i dont feel like doing my hair, so im gunn either take one later tonite or tomorrow morning..

i listen to my heart, do you? hehe.. okay im like in a good mood but kinda sleepy. im gunna go lay down n ill rite more later.

2001-02-26T21:01:00.000-05:00

ho hum...

2001-02-24T18:48:00.000-05:00

deedlee..

so, today was a pretty boring day.. as of now i'm 1/2 way done with my term paper book.. im gunna most likely finish it tonite b/c sarah is going out with jon now.. me n her were gunna go to the movies, but plans got kinda screwed up.. its okay though, i dont mind.. really, i dont..

i missed him a LOT today.. like, more than ur usual missage.. hehe.. is that even a word? missage? well now it is! its MY word! :) i was getting a bunch of quotes for my webpage, and i kept thinking of him the whoooole time.. and i got all sad n teary-eyed and went upstairs to have a good cry for about 45 minutes.. but hey, it happens!

guess what?

i'm in LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!

2001-02-24T11:23:00.000-05:00

bum bum bum

2001-02-23T23:43:00.000-05:00

ho hum! >yawns<

i went to youth band tonite at MSU.. it was errite, but eh, it was youth band. a few people said they liked my hair, but ihave a feeling that some others didn't like it too much. do i care? psh, ya rite.

it was cold out tonight. and windy. and lonely :*( i want to snuggle with him sooooo much. but i cant.. he's already got someone to snuggle with..

i updated my site a little, but see, my computer up here in my room is ghetto, so it has the ghetto internet on it. and the ghetto internet keeps like, freezing up n junk on me and i get shht pissed and then i cant save my page, and get so frustrated! >: O
oh well

today was dave's surpise party! it was only me, sarah, dave, paul, and andrew chao. not a big party, but it's the thought that counts, right? right! :) i have no clue what i'm going to do for my sweet 16th party. but i have until june, so it's all good

oh thats part of a song!! "but its all good if you would stop the world from making sense.. and if i could just realize it doesn't really matter.." thats part of the song CLING AND CLATTER on the LIFEHOUSE cd.

oh my GOD.. what is WRONG with me!? okay, well i don't think its WRONG per say.. but i cant get him offmy mind, damnit. and its no good just hoping and wishing knowing that thigns aren't what i want them to be right now.. daaaamnit okay im calm. im cool. im collected. im in love. and that won't change, no matter what happens between us, between him and her, between me and anyone else (not that it will happen, cuz it seems that every guy that talks to me says, "hey, wanna get to KNOW each other? IF you know what i mean".. damnit i hate guys like that- all they want is sum you know what, and damnit, i dont want that right now.) i want someone who can talk to me and be himself, somoene who I can talk to and be MYSELF.. someone who appreciates me after knowing me for a while... not thse guys that want to start off to get to know me by doin stuff i DONT want to do with them... right now i think that he's the only guy, the only PERSON who i can talk to and be me and not care about if i just woke up, not care if i dont have any makeup on, not care about anyting at all except the fact that i love every minute of it. i love every moment we talk, every time we're together, everything about it.i just wish i could fall off a building and land in this giant pillow with all these feathers around me, and i close my eyes and wake up from the fall and he's there smiling at me. and he tells me that everytihg will be okay, and that he loves me, and no one else matters.

2001-02-23T09:53:00.000-05:00

it's a wonderful day in the neighborhood!

well not really, but just felt like sayin it. :)

ugh, mom made me get up at like, 8:45 to go shovel snow. i hate snow, damnit! and i hate shoveling! but i got outta doin it- she just let me get away with washing dishes haha.

today is dave's suprise party! *shh, its still a secret*. he went away this week and is flying back, but hopefully his flight didn't get delayed or something cuz of the snow and stuff. sarah said that if worse comes to worse, we'll just video-tape his suprise party and send it to him hehe silly sarah.

i kept waking up in the middle of the night last night. and when i would wake up, i kept thinking about him. it was weird, like, i wasn't trying to think of anything, but i ended up just thinking all about him.

hum de dum de dum.. my hair is still short! i mean, not like it would magically grow overnight, but you know the deal.

*ive got a love-el-y bunch of co-co-nuts*

2001-02-22T22:14:00.000-05:00

cuz im dreaming
of you tonight
til tomorrow
i'll be holding you tight
and there's nowhere in the world
i'd rather be..
than here in my room,
dreaming about you and me...

2001-02-22T18:31:00.000-05:00

Sarah Brightman - Deliver me

Deliver me, out of my sadness.
Deliver me, from all of the madness.
Deliver me, courage to guide me.
Deliver me, strength from inside me.

All of my life I've been in hiding.
Wishing there was someone just like you.
Now that you're here, now that I've found you,
I know that you're the one to pull me through.

Deliver me, loving and caring.
Deliver me, giving and sharing.
Deliver me, the cross that I'm bearing.

All of my life I was in hiding.
Wishing there was someone just like you.
Now that you're here, now that I've found you,
I know that you're the one to pull me through.

Deliver me,
Deliver me,
Oh deliver me.

All of my life I was in hiding.
Wishing there was someone just like you.
Now that you're here, now that I've found you,
I know that you're the one to pull me through.

Deliver me,
Oh deliver me.
Won't you deliver me.

2001-02-22T13:34:00.000-05:00

lookie me! i have short hair!! i think it looks pretty cute, but my mom said it looks like my head is a giant bubble :*( but you know what? i dont care!

i hope i get to do something today. last night's plans didnt go thru, and hopefully tonite'll be better. the weather people said theres like, a 90% chance of snow or some "ish" like that. but then again, are they right half the time? exactly.

hmm what else what else.. i miss him sooooo much! i just wish i could run up to him and give him a biiiig bear hug. dont you ever get that feeling? like you just wanna hug someone n not let go?!

hum de dum de dum. i have to go to the mall (i think) and get dave his bday gift. me and sarah planned a suprise 16th bday party for him *damn we're too smooth* hehe. he's on vacation all this week, and when sarah's mom called mrs. schieblin to like tell her about it, she was saying how great an idea it was cuz dave was upset that he couldn't have a party. well now he's got one! :)

i dont know what shirt i should wear today. hmm, . i have on my FAVORITE t-shirt- my red DAWLS one! comfy ish!

okay well i'm going to put on my makeup now so it looks like im not dead anymore. i bbak later. =) *tries to smile*

2001-02-21T23:19:00.000-05:00

Lifehouse kicks ass... i highly recommend their cd- NO NAME FACE

2001-02-21T23:15:00.000-05:00

ouchies. i hurt so bad right now. but he doesn't need to know that.. but i think he does.. oh well. but what can i do right now? i love him so much, but he's with someone else... he "chose" her.. ugh i hate that word.. he's with her, he's allowed to hold her, kiss her, say that she's his, and he's hers.. i envy it.

2001-02-21T19:39:00.000-05:00

"Look! A flamingo! Notice how it stands on one leg, and then take careful notice of how it FALLS when you push it over!" -Tom

*jessica*

jessica